June 2016

One of the questions we need to answer when we adopt a child is whether or not you should tell your child they’re adopted. Each parent will answer this in their own way, deciding what’s important to them and how they feel about it. I don’t think it affects the way we treat our children, I know for myself I love Jay as much as if he was my own. But it will affect the child in some way or another.

If you adopt a child from a different country, or more specifically of a different race, the answer (I think?) is obvious. You wouldn’t fool anyone for long and the child would put it together faster than the latest Lego set. For children the same or similar to the parents though, it’s a question that needs to be asked. For my family, I’m white, SO (my wife)is Chinese, and Jay is Javanese, so we look as though he may be our biological son and many people actually think he is. read more

It seems an apt time, after last week’s post, to talk about how my son got me addicted to Minecraft. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, even if you don’t play, it’s one of the most popular games around now, being available on pretty much every electronic gaming device out there (eg. PC, MAC, Linux, Android, Apple IOS, PS3, PS4, PS Vita, Xbox360, Xboxone, and even the WiiU).

Like so many others though, I’d never really considered playing it. It wasn’t the sort of game I’d played in the past, and what I’d seen of it (it’s just big square blocks) it didn’t look at all interesting. And so, when Jay first asked me to get it for him, I brushed him off saying I’d think about it. Which in Daddy Speak means “we’re not getting it”, and I tried to dissuade him from wanting it whilst I was “thinking about it”. read more

Disappointment is one of those things that we all go through as a child. Whether it be a small thing or large, we’ve all been there and gone through it. As an adult though we see it in a different way. A lot of the time though we’ll brush it off as something insignificant, but for the child it could be devastating. And when you’re close to your child seeing the look on their faces, as the lips tremble and the eyes well up, it can break your heart.

One such occasion happened to my son Jay just this last week. read more

Our family is what one may call multicultural, my wife (SO) is ethnically Chinese, our son is Javanese, and I’m a plain old regular white guy. On a day to day basis these labels are irrelevant to us, we are a family and that’s all that really matters.

Occasionally though something comes up to remind us that we are, in some ways different to each other.

One such occasion came up a few months ago when SO was dying her hair. Being Chinese her hair is, of course, black, but she’s starting to get a few grey (white?) hairs coming through. As such she’s taken to dying her hair every few months. read more