September 2016

Eight years ago I was diagnosed with Torticollis (or wry neck), three months later my son, Jay, was born. Whilst I am nowhere near disabled, it does effect my life and consequently how I can interact with Jay. And that’s what I wanted to talk about today.

First, for those who aren’t familiar with torticollis, a little info on the condition. There are 2 ways it can develop. The first is through an injury or other physical trauma, which can normally be rectified by fixing the underlying cause. I know of one person who had it from bad posture sitting at his desk, and all he had to do was rest for a few days and correct his posture when sitting. The other cause is genetic and is passed down through the family. This can not be fixed and will be a continuing condition for the rest of your life. This is what causes my condition and every 3 or 4 months for the past 8 years I have had around 20 injections into the muscles on my neck and shoulders to reduce the tension and relax the muscles there. read more

If you asked five different people that question, chances are you’d get five different answers. The funny thing is they could all be wrong, or all be right. Even if most adoption workers claim the best time to tell your child they’re adopted is between the ages of 2 and 4, I personally think this is a question that the adoptive parents have to answer for themselves.

Why? Simply because a lot of the way that the child reacts to the news is based on the parents comfort level in having that discussion. If the parents don’t handle the topic positively, this can rub off on the child and they will receive a negative view to the news they are adopted. Even if they don’t comprehend what adopted means, they can get negative connotations to the word. read more

Okay, reading that title probably makes people think my son, Jay, is avenging my death. Even if it’s just a death in a game. Well, I guess that’s half right, it was in a game, but I didn’t die, I was kicked from a server we were playing on together.

I suppose a little background is needed here to clarify what happened, and also to help non-gamers to understand what happened. We were playing a mini game in Minecraft on the PS4 where the idea is to break blocks out from under other players to make them fall and die in the lava below. The last person standing wins the round and the first person with 3 wins, wins the game. There’s also the ability to kick players who are disrupting the game play or are cheating in some way. read more

As a conscientious parent I’m wondering where the line between rewards and bribes is. When we give something to our children for something they’ve done, does it constitute a reward or a bribe? How do we know the difference? Is it just a matter of perception? Or is there some quantifiable way we can determine it?

I’m thinking of this now because my son, Jay, is on school holiday this week and while he’s at home we’ve made him an offer. Basically we’ve bought him 2 books to do extra practice with, 1 mathematics and 1 Chinese. They’re supplementary books for what he uses at school, and will help him to get ahead with his work. He said he wants to do them, but the problem is he can become distracted by games and books. What we need is an extra motivation for him to put down his toys and do some study. We’re not asking for much, and have told him we only expect him to do 1 hour a day. So how do we motivate him to do the extra work? read more