As a conscientious parent I’m wondering where the line between rewards and bribes is. When we give something to our children for something they’ve done, does it constitute a reward or a bribe? How do we know the difference? Is it just a matter of perception? Or is there some quantifiable way we can determine it?
I’m thinking of this now because my son, Jay, is on school holiday this week and while he’s at home we’ve made him an offer. Basically we’ve bought him 2 books to do extra practice with, 1 mathematics and 1 Chinese. They’re supplementary books for what he uses at school, and will help him to get ahead with his work. He said he wants to do them, but the problem is he can become distracted by games and books. What we need is an extra motivation for him to put down his toys and do some study. We’re not asking for much, and have told him we only expect him to do 1 hour a day. So how do we motivate him to do the extra work?
What we’ve offered him is that for every 2 chapters he completes, we will buy him a pack of Pokemon cards. There’s a total of 9 chapters in each book, so if he completes everything he’ll get 9 packs of cards (they’re $4.50 each if you want to do the math).
If you’re wondering what Pokemon cards are, they’re a trading card game. There’re are several different ones out there and seem to be quite popular, especially with the Pokemon go game being released recently.
The problem I face now, is whether this offer constitutes a reward for performing the action, or whether it’s a bribe for doing what we want. Should we consider it a part of positive reinforcement where we give a reward for positive behaviour? Should we really reward this type of behaviour? Or should the reward of gaining knowledge and proficiency be enough?
For me I’m leaning towards classifying it as a reward, but I’m aware not everyone will think this way. I’m also conscious of limiting any rewards we give for this type of behaviour so that it doesn’t become something that is expected in the future, and hopefully he will develop a passion for gaining knowledge and getting more proficient at these things. I’d also like to hear thoughts from others who have thought about these things, so leave a comment below and let us know your opinion.
