I think this is a question most parents will end up asking themselves at one point or another. When should we put a limit on our children’s creativity? And has it been destructive enough to require punishment?
Maybe a little background is in order. A few years ago Jay got angry at SO and basically threw a tantrum. The specifics aren’t important, and in any case, I don’t remember them. The next day, SO came home from work to find “I love (heart) you mummy!!!!” written on our couch (as seen in the above picture), as an apology. We didn’t end up punishing him for it, although he did get a talking to not to do it again. But should we have? It was a creative way of saying sorry, but at the same time it was also destructive.
Over the last eight years, our walls have put up with a lot of abuse. There are drawings and words on the walls and doors in pretty much every room. And I’m not talking about drawings on paper that we’ve stuck up as artwork. I mean, he has literally (in the proper sense) written and drawn on the walls.
So when do we punish it? And when do we let him use his creativity?
It’s sad to say, but I think a lot of the time we’ve made that decision, not based on the severity of the crime, but on how we felt that day. If we’re not in a good mood, he gets punished. And if we are, he gets praise for his creativity, and told not to do it again.
The biggest problem with this approach is that it leads to confusion on Jay’s part, and an unpredictability on ours. What we really need to do, is be consistent in our approach and guide him through an acceptable way to express his creativity by setting limits on how and when he can be creative.
It’s something we’re working on, and by the time he reaches university, we may have mastered it. Hopefully.
Until then, our walls are works of art, and we’re parents of a confused boy. But at least he knows we love him, and he loves us. We have the evidence all around us.
