“But all my friends have one” she yelled at the woman who had to be her mother. “I don’t care” she responded, “You’re too young to have your own phone”. “I’m twelve, and everyone else already has one” the girl screams back. Standing there in the middle of the phone shop, the mother and daughter play out a scene that is becoming all too common.
Our children are being exposed to technology at a young age, and as parents we seek to limit and direct our offspring through the treacherous waters that tech can lead to. In a lot of cases this means we aren’t just battling with our children, but also with other parents that have a different view of the world and all it has to offer.
For one parent it may be totally acceptable to give a young child, of ten or younger, a smart phone. Whilst other parents will want to wait until they are much older, perhaps even in their late teens.
So, what is the problem with giving young children their own smart phone? There are several issues that parents should be aware of when debating the appropriate age to give them their own phone.
Studies have shown that early access to phones or tablets can adversely affect brain development. This was found particularly in children aged 3 and younger, where their cognitive development, their ability to think and process information, was slower than their peers who didn’t have the same amount of screen time.
It can make it harder for them to develop socially, so that they don’t form friendships as easily.
It can form addictive behaviour, which can affect them throughout their lives. I wrote about this phenomenon and my son, Jay, here.
Lastly, it opens up easier access to the internet where there are so many dangers it boggles the mind. Whether the danger is in the form of online predators, dangerous challenges and pranks, or bullying. This is something I’m more than aware of, with Jay using my iPad to play games and watch videos, I’m always aware of the danger and try to monitor his activities as much as possible. If he had his own phone though, this would be practically impossible for me to watch him every second of the day.
So what do we do? And how old should our children be before we give them unlimited access to these devices?
Bill Gates said in a recent interview that he believes children should be at least 14 before we allow them to own their own devices. But he didn’t stop there, he also shared the rules that he and his wife have for their kids.
To ensure time together as a family, they limit the amount of screen time they’re allowed.
Meal times are phone free. My wife, SO, and I do this with Jay, and while he sometimes complains, it does give us more time as a family and to communicate with each other.
There is also a set time after which there is to be no screen time, thus making sure their kids get to bed at a reasonable hour. This is another thing that we already try to do with Jay, however we aren’t always successful, and it’s something we need to be stricter about.
All in all, I think what the Gates are doing is right and something that I will try to follow as Jay gets older. I’m thinking that I may wait a little longer and see if we can wait until he’s 16 before he gets his own phone. Wish me luck.
