It’s 6.30am and I’m standing at the side of the road with Jay, my son, waiting for his school bus to arrive. With his back to me, I slip my arms around his shoulders and kiss the top of his head. It’s become a ritual that we do most days, and something I think we both get something out of. The simple act of affection, physical contact, gives us a bond that I’m hoping will last a lifetime. It’s also something that benefits both of us on a psychological and physical level.

For now I’m going to focus on how it will affect Jay, and can affect all children, in their future lives. read more

Jay, my son, is a typical child, at least that’s what I tell myself. One minute everything’s fine, and the next, all hell breaks loose. Sometimes I have no idea what happened, all I know is that he’s gone from smiling and happy, to a monster in boy clothes.

Fortunately, over the last few months we’ve been able to reduce the times he loses his cool, and when he does he’s no longer the monster he was. How did we do it, I pretend to hear you ask? We talked to him and gave him alternative ways to handle his emotions. Part of which was the way we deal with him and what we say. Below are some of the phrases that my wife, SO, found from Psychologist Renee Jain, and that we have been trying to use when needed. read more

Junior’s sitting in front of the TV, playing a video game, and out it comes, swearing at the characters or other players. You don’t know where he learnt those words, and his father’s no help, he’s mysteriously disappeared, so you know he didn’t teach him. Must have got it from all those youtube videos he’s been watching, right? At least that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Okay, I admit it, I have on occasion sworn in front of Jay, my son (that didn’t last long, did it?). And he’s picked some of it up from me. Some are from youtube videos that we haven’t caught, but I do take the main responsibility.  He’s heard me do it, and by consequence it’s become normal for him. The problem now, though, is what to do about it. read more

It’s something I see everyday, people crossing the road in unsafe places. Unfortunately, the majority of these people are with young children, and it amazes me how cavalier they are, not only about their safety, but the child’s safety as well.

As responsible adults, our first instinct should be to protect our children, not put them in unnecessary danger. And just so everyone’s clear, we live in an area where we are never more than 100 meters away from the nearest traffic lights, and clearly marked and regulated crossings. read more

We’re walking through the local mall, and looking down, I realise my son, Jay, isn’t next to me anymore. My heart plummets, my pulse is racing, as I spin on the spot, eyes searching, body moving in to overdrive as panic overwhelms me. It only takes a moment to find him, looking in the window of the nearby games store, but the damage has been done as my body spends the next half hour in hyper-alert, watching him every second, every movement.

It’s a parent’s worst fear. We lose sight of them for a moment and their gone. It’s something my wife, SO, and I have kept in mind since we first welcomed him into the world. And it’s something that we have prepared for. read more

It seems like a strange question, doesn’t it? We spend so much time telling our children to be honest, that it seems counterintuitive for us to turn around and teach them to lie. After all, how many of us want our kids lying to us?

Recently though, I came across a video that suggests we should be teaching them to lie. Not the big lies that we get upset about, but small lies that help to protect other people’s feelings. You know, like when their grandparents give them a present they don’t like. None of us want the embarrassment that comes with our little one saying, “I don’t like it. It’s stupid.” read more

It’s one of those things that parents want to use, but using time-outs effectively doesn’t always seem to be within our grasp. How long should they be? Where should we put them? Are we doing anything right? Why doesn’t it seem to be working like it’s supposed to?

It’s something that my wife, SO, and I have been doing with our son, Jay, for years. Yet they never seem to have the effect that we want. So we did what most parents do, we kept doing the same thing and hoped that it would somehow start to work like it’s supposed to. read more

My son, Jay, and I were seated across from each other. Plates of food, sitting before us. Our eyes locked ready for the battle that always ensued when SO, my wife, was late for dinner.

“How was school?” I asked like a recording.

“Fine,” came the same response as always.

“What did you learn today?” I just don’t learn, do I.

“Nothing.”

“Have you done your homework?”

We’d both given up by this point, our mouths filling with food. Any more conversation would revolve around games we were playing. Anything serious, like school work or his friends, would wait until SO got home. read more

It was Father’s Day yesterday, and unlike a lot of fathers out there, I didn’t get any presents or cards. At least no physical presents other than a chocolate lava cake. And since neither my wife, SO, or son, Jay, are big cake eaters, it’s pretty much all mine. The real present they gave me though, was a couple of days peace and quiet.

You see, SO had to go away for work on Friday and Saturday, and with Jay on holiday, she decided to ask if he wanted to go along. When he said yes, I could’ve jumped for joy. Not that I don’t love him or cherish the time we get to spend together. But there are things I don’t get to do when he’s around, and with them gone from Friday morning through to Sunday afternoon, it gave me some time to do those things. read more

We see it every day. We go out as a family, whether it’s to have dinner somewhere local, or go to the park, or the local pool, or maybe to the beach. And there are the children with gadgets, their phones or tablets, their eyes fixated on the device in front of them. The world around them an unreality, more of a nuisance than what is real. The games they’re playing, their online friends on social media. They’re the only things they seem to care about.

But is this what they really need? Is this what’s best for them? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “No”, that’s not what’s best for them. read more