My son, Jay, and I were seated across from each other. Plates of food, sitting before us. Our eyes locked ready for the battle that always ensued when SO, my wife, was late for dinner.
“How was school?” I asked like a recording.
“Fine,” came the same response as always.
“What did you learn today?” I just don’t learn, do I.
“Nothing.”
“Have you done your homework?”
We’d both given up by this point, our mouths filling with food. Any more conversation would revolve around games we were playing. Anything serious, like school work or his friends, would wait until SO got home.
I don’t know where I went wrong. I mean, I am curious and want to be a part of Jay’s life, but it just seems when it comes to serious discussions, I’m completely out of it. If it’s just something fun, like playing game together, or watching a TV show we both enjoy, there’s no problem. We can talk and joke like best friends.
And that, may just be the problem. I’ve become so much a friend to Jay, that when it does come to serious talks, he’s not interested. After all, his friends at school don’t ask him those things. So why should his Daddy-friend ask him?
It’s time I try something different, and after searching the web for ages and ages, or maybe a few minutes here and there when I was bored, I came across a list of 50 fun questions to get your kid talking.
It looks like an interesting list, and I think I’m going to try some of them over the next few weeks. It seems like the perfect time to try something new, with him going back to school tomorrow after his mid year break.
Some of the questions I think I’m going to try include:
What makes you happy?
What makes you feel brave?
What makes you feel loved?
How do you show people you care?
What does it feel like when I hug you?
What bugs you?
These aren’t the only ones I want to try, but they are ones whose answers I’m curious about. They seem to be a great way to find out what Jay is thinking and how he feels about things.
I know that starting off, it’s probably going to be an up-hill struggle. We’ve been in the situation where we don’t talk about these things so long, that it’s going to be awkward for both of us. But I think it’s something that would be worthwhile, and well worth the time and embarrassment caused.
I’d be interested to know, though, what other questions they ask to kid their kids talking. Let me know in the comments below.