Why You Shouldn’t Tell A Child They Can’t Sing

I can’t sing. I can’t dance. And I can’t play a musical instrument. How do I know? Well, since I was young I’ve been told I can’t. So obviously I can’t, right?

That seems to be the problem. Since I, and many others are told from young that we can’t sing. Or at least told we don’t have the talent to sing or play music. This makes us believe that’s true. But is it really true? That’s the question some people are asking now. Are we creating self-fulfilling prophecies by telling our kids that they can’t sing? And even if we aren’t creating that, are we stopping them from enjoying an important part of their lives.

And that’s the important part, isn’t it? Music can be an important part of our development. Whether we’re good at it or not, it brings joy and happiness, and has numerous social and cognitive benefits.

Some of these benefits include cognitive development, language ability, reading ability, creativity, motor skills, and social adjustment. Certainly a group of benefits we all want to give our young ones. However, it may not be gained in the way most of us have been informed about through popular media.

I know a lot us, myself included, have been told that babies and young children listening to music has these benefits. Unfortunately, this doesn’t actually seem to be the case. What more recent research has found is that it is actually musical play that creates these benefits. Whether it’s the parents singing to the baby, or older children experimenting and making their own music. These are the things that benefit our kids the most.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get our children to listen to music. The joy that brings is also important, just not for their development.

So what’s our next step? One way we can, as parents, help this is to just sing around the house. It doesn’t matter how good we are. Just the fact that we are doing it around them will encourage them to do it themselves. We can even spend time singing with them, and playing on those annoying toy instruments that keep turning up from nowhere.

We can also organise music classes for our kids. Find a local instructor that will encourage them, even if they show no natural ability. It’s the act of playing and creating we want, not the possibility of them being a world class musician.

Monitoring what’s happening at their schools is also a good idea. We don’t want their music teachers to be negative towards their ability and negate all our efforts at home.

I think the most important thing I take away from this is that if they can play beautifully, great. If they sound awful, great. Having them develop a love for music is so much more important to me. My son doesn’t have to be the best singer in the world. After all, he’s already told me he’s going to be a scientist/chef/basketball player/businessman. He’s going to be way to busy to make music a career as well.

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