It’s difficult watching our little ones grow. Sending them out into the big bad world of school. Hoping they’ll have fun and make friends. Don’t we all want to help our kids make friends like we did at school? Let’s look at some of the things we can do to help them.
1. Trust Them
It can be difficult to let go, but we can’t actually force our kids to be friends with who we choose for them. Kids, in general, have good instincts. And if they say they don’t want to befriends with someone, we should listen. It also works the other way. If we don’t like someone they do, maybe should back off and give it a chance. After all, if we force them to stay away from somebody, it’ll most likely backfire and they’ll want to be friends with them even more.
2. Encourage Diversity
We live in a world that is diverse. Whether we’re talking about race, religion, or any of the other many ways we differ as people, we are all surrounded by people who are in small ways different from us. If we encourage our kids to make friends with a diverse group of people, it’s going to help them develop, creating in them a more understanding and empathic person.
3. Test The Friendship
By testing the friendship, I’m not talking about what they’d do in one of those TV shows where they set up a situation and test how much of a friend the other person really is. I’ talking about asking our child a couple of questions to see how they feel about the friendship. A couple of questions to ask are:
Do I feel better being with this person?
Do I feel encouraged?
Do I feel valued?
What we want to hear is a “Yes” answers to all of these. If there are any “No” answers, then we would need to discuss the matter and help our child make a decision on what to do about it.
4. Help Develop Friendship Traits
If our kid is having problems making or keeping friends, they may need a boost in their friendship traits to push them along. There’s an article on Psychology Today that lists thirteen traits that are important for friendships. It’s a good idea to go over the list with our little one to help them improve their ability to make or keep friends.
5. Mentors Can Make A Difference
I’m not saying that we should set up some kind of formal mentorship program for our kids to make friends. What I am saying is that we should help to show them what friendship is about and how it works through example. Whilst we are normally our child’s role model, we are also their mentors. It is our responsibility to show how friends should act with each other and set a good example so that they can follow. This naturally involves our friends and how we interact with them.
How have you helped your child make friends? Leave a comment below and let us know.