We’re walking through the local mall, and looking down, I realise my son, Jay, isn’t next to me anymore. My heart plummets, my pulse is racing, as I spin on the spot, eyes searching, body moving in to overdrive as panic overwhelms me. It only takes a moment to find him, looking in the window of the nearby games store, but the damage has been done as my body spends the next half hour in hyper-alert, watching him every second, every movement.
It’s a parent’s worst fear. We lose sight of them for a moment and their gone. It’s something my wife, SO, and I have kept in mind since we first welcomed him into the world. And it’s something that we have prepared for.
I should also point out here that I’m talking about a child that wanders off, not a child that is led away by a stranger. That’s a whole separate topic, that I’m not going into now.
Which brings us to the first decision when teaching our kids what to do when they get lost. How old should they be when we first talk to them about this?
For SO and I, we felt that the earlier the better, and so we started when Jay was about two-years-old. We felt this was a good age, since his comprehension was good enough to understand what we were talking about, and he was at the age where he was starting to wander around a bit. The exact age will vary from child to child, but I firmly believe that the earlier we start with this, the better and more ingrained it will be.
So what exactly should we teach our children to do when they become lost?
The first thing we told Jay, was to stop moving. Once he realises that we are no longer near him, and he doesn’t know where we are, he should stop where he is and look around to see if he can spot us. Of course, he should also make sure he’s not in a dangerous place, like the middle of the road.
The next thing he knows to do, if he can’t see us, is to find a trusted adult. Whether it’s a police officer, or security guard, or some other person he can trust. He can then tell them that he’s lost his parents, and to ask for help finding them.
To help with this, we had him memorise our full names, phone numbers and address, so that he could tell them, and they could, in most instances, contact us immediately. It took a bit of practice, but he managed to remember them fairly quickly, and six years later he still remembers them.
The way we did this was to play the interview game, where one of us, most often SO, would ask him questions such as “What’s your mother’s name?” or “What is your mother’s phone number?” By doing this we gave him practice in answering questions he might get asked, and at the same time reinforcing the information, and making sure he still remembered it.
I think the biggest thing we taught him though, is not to wander off, and over the last six years, there hasn’t been one time when we couldn’t find him. Through a combination of us keeping an eye on him, and he keeping an eye on us, we have avoided the situation where he was lost. And maybe there has been a bit of luck in there too.
I’d be interested in hearing from anyone who has any other suggestions of what we should teach our kids, so if you have any please leave a comment below so that we can learn together.